Brokenness

Yesterday I had a moment of heart wrenching brokenness for one of these so called "causes." I started thinking about what it would be like if i cared for all the injustices and oppressed people like I cared personally for this one instance. I pondered the phrase common to at least 100 modern worship songs, "break my heart for what breaks yours," and began to encounter the true meaning of that. When God's heart breaks for something, it must be intense pain. Surely God passionately weeps for his people. How can a truly good God not care intensely when he sees hurt and injustice? For us to pray that we would be broken like God is broken doesn't mean feeling sorry for someone or being moderately affected. It means complete vulnerability. It means willingly opening up your heart to be devastated and to suffer for someone else.

That seems so counter cultural. It is the "righteous anger" that people pick up--not the broken heart. We don't want to hurt; we don't want to be affected so that we are moved to tears and prostrate on the ground, desperate for something to be done...We don't want to be the people who cry all the time because then our compassion won't seem genuine or we seem too easily affected. The tough exterior is much more comfortable.

But I'm tired of it. I am going to cry. I am going to care. At least, I will try. I don't want to talk about something so awful as genocide without being moved by it. I don't want to think of the thousands and thousands of people who will die today from AIDS without hurting for them.

God must have a huge heart to be able to weep for so many people and still be joyous about everything good. I know my heart is not as big as his, but I pray that my heart will be enlarged by really caring people and that I will not be afraid to suffer some on their behalf.