Why I am not a Christian Hedonist

In the last six months, I have given a lot of thought to desire, pleasure, and their relationship. I was reading Desiring God, and perhaps because I have not finished reading it, I had developed an understanding of it (which I am sure Piper did not mean). Honestly, I latched on to the terminology of “Christian Hedonism” and began to define that as someone who sought pleasure from a relationship with God. I nearly labeled myself thus, believing that if I were truly desiring God, my desires would be fulfilled, which in turn would give me pleasure. This seemed almost faultless to me. Why else would all humans pursue happiness? This need to be happy must be God’s means of wooing us. We come to God to find joy and peace. When faced with the question of why Christians do not always find joy in obedience, I simply determined that they must not really be desiring God. I came to the conclusion that to be a perfect Christian meant we would always be happy. I assumed that this was theoretical rather than practical and that is why we have pain.

One day I found myself lost in conversation with Plato. I felt as though he looked me straight in the face and said, “Tell me this. Do you think there is a good of the kind we would choose to have because we value it for its own sake, and not from any desire for its results? Enjoyment, for example.” My immediate response was “well, obviously. God.”

Wait. What?

Now I had a problem. These two philosophies were not compatible. I wrestled with this for quite some time until I read Lewis’ Screwtape letter number 8.

“Sooner or later [God] withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs—to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. . . He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away his hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. [The devil’s] cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do [God’s] will, looks round the universe from which every trace of him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.”

God removes his face from us, in a sense, to test our wills. Do we really desire God? Or do we desire the pleasure of his presence? There is nothing that demonstrates a stronger desire for God than when we get no pleasure or comfort in seeking him. Being a Christian necessitates hard times. We will suffer. At some point, we will seek his face, but he will hide it. It is then, when you choose to obey without the incentive of pleasure, that your will and desire for him strengthens.

I know that I will not always find joy in obedience, but I will persist in obeying because I desire my God not for any benefit he gives me. We must value God for himself, not for what he gives. Let me delight in his presence and its joy, but I dare not let my faith dissipate when I do not have that comfort.

Everything Under the Sun

I love watching sunsets. I love watching what is under sunsets even more.

I love hearing the sweet girl across the street who practices her piano with the window open. I love the sound of my neighbor’s sprinklers. I love the planes that crawl across the sky. I love the people who laugh together as they walk past me. I love the Asian family that sits in their drive way together every evening to watch the sun slowly disappear.

Sunsets were made for people. God gave us the sunsets to help us understand him. He gave the sunsets to his people. Under the sun is a community of people, people that God cherishes and adores. Sunsets are simply a way of God showing his love for us.

Each sunset makes me think of his people and I love hearing their sounds at dusk.

I am my beloved's, and he is mine.

Song of Solomon paints a picture of a couple who desire each other and care for each other. The lover adores his beloved and treats her with respect and tenderness. He is sensitive to her and she responds to him with love. When she is treated with love, she eagerly desires to give herself wholly to her beloved. She desires to be possessed by her beloved as a response to his sensitivity.

In the same way, we respond to Christ. He has treated us with love and we then respond to him by giving ourselves wholly to him. Our obedience to him is a response to how we have been cared for and overflows from a deep and abiding love for him. How beautiful! We do not have to feel obligated to serve him--instead, let us long to give ourselves to him in obedience! Let us desire to be possessed by him because he has loved us so tenderly.

I will call out that I am my beloved's, and he is mine!

So this is pretty old..

I just realized that I have a blog. How convenient :)

I decided to start using this again because I have to get my thoughts out somewhere or I start lecturing people. So from here on out, this is going to be my outlet! So you (if anyone ever happens to read this haha) can peek into my mind and my heart without an accompanying lecture.

I really don't have anything profound to share yet. I haven't really been thinking much lately--at least not about anything important. What do you do when everything is just average? I'm not struggling with anything. I'm not overly pleased about anything. I'm rather apathetic, which is a miserable place to be. So how do I get out? Can you just go to lots of chapels or bible studies, and eventually maybe just wake up? I am not quite sure, but I will keep seeking His face.

So, I'll write once again when I start seeing His face!